


Magical

by Allison_Wonderland



Category: Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries
Genre: Blame Firesign, Comedy, F/M, Fluff, Smut adjacent, bad romance novels, borderline crack fic, inside joke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:01:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21526396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allison_Wonderland/pseuds/Allison_Wonderland
Summary: Sometimes, there’s just no substitute. Only one thing will get you through.
Relationships: Phryne Fisher/Jack Robinson
Comments: 13
Kudos: 59





	Magical

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fire_Sign](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fire_Sign/gifts).



> For Firesign. She knows why.

Jack sighed with relief as he took off his semi-sodden coat and hung it up in the hall, going so far as to toe off his shoes. It had rained steadily and he was infinitely glad to be home. Perceptive as always, Mr. Butler appeared out of nowhere with both a finger of whiskey and Jack’s slippers.

“Good evening, Sir.” Mr. B. proffered the whiskey which Jack downed in a single swallow. Its warmth quickly spread over him, driving out the chill that had lingered all day.

“Good evening, Mr. Butler. Is Miss Fisher about?” 

Mr Butler looked faintly concerned.

“She’s retired for the evening. I’m hoping you forgive the presumption, sir, but I don’t believe she’s feeling very well. She said she was nauseous and went to lie down.”

Jack took the stairs two at a time.

~*~

“Phryne?” Jack tapped softly on the door before pushing it open. She lay sprawled about the bed on her stomach, book in one hand, empty glass in the other. When she sighted him, she popped up, and threw her arms out to welcome him. 

“Jack! Jack, darling, come to me. How desperately I need you! You’re the only thing that can cure me, you and your magical, healing cock.” She pretended to faint dramatically on the bed. 

Jack just stared at her, utterly gobsmacked. 

“I-- what?” 

Whatever he expected, this was not it.

One look at his stunned face sent her into peals of laughter. She laughed until tears rolled down her face and only stopped when the hiccups took hold. 

“Phryne? Are you...well?” He reached for her forehead but couldn’t tell if she was warm from fever or just her giggles. “Mr. Butler said you felt ill, should I send for Mac?”

“Ill?” She looked at him confused, finally calming down. 

“Yes, he said you were feeling nauseous?” 

She gave another giggle. 

“I was kidding, the only thing making me nauseated is this.” She handed him the book she had been reading. 

“The Sheik and the Virgin Princess?” Jack gave her a look then opened the book.

> _“Let me touch you,” he groaned, throbbing with desire._
> 
> _“No, no! Please don’t! I’m a good girl. Please don’t take my innocence!” Her cry was impassioned but he would not relent._
> 
> _“Trust me, little one. I can give you exactly what you need. I can make you feel as you never have before. Let me drive out the demons from within you.”_

What the hell?

Phryne started cackling again at Jack’s flabbergastedness. 

“I confiscated it from Jane and her friends earlier. They were doing a dramatic reading in the parlour. I, of course, as a proper guardian, was horrified. The quality is terrible, if they’re going to read erotica, they should at least read _good_ erotica.”

Jack rolled his eyes. Of course she was more concerned with the quality of the content, not the content itself. 

“I presume you corrected this issue? With something discreetly bound, no author to be seen?’

“Of course. Much better. Or at least the word ‘throbbing’ isn’t used eleven times on one page.”

Phryne’s eyes turned sly.

“What say you about our own dramatic reenactment?”

“I suppose that depends,” Jack intoned dryly. “Am I the sheik or the virgin princess?”

Phryne grinned and threw her arms around him.

“Why not both? Both is good.”

He could deal with taking turns.

~*~

Some time later, after their breathing had calmed and they were cuddled up together, it was Jack’s turn to be sly. 

“Are you feeling better now? Has my magical, healing cock driven away your demons?”

“Utterly. Excellent job, darling.”

**Author's Note:**

> There has been a running joke (and an associated rant) regarding the “healing cock” trope. And then there was a tumblr ask that was just too good. I couldn’t not write it.


End file.
